Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Ominous Rain

Today brought rain to the brewery. I watched in awe as a river formed and engulfed the planter next to my truck, and then the side walk. As the flash flood approached the door I decided that it was time build a raft, and then the hail started.

As I hastily tied together empty kegs with brewer’s hose, the skylight began to drip on my head. I looked back toward the tasting room and I notice the front window was beginning to burst at the seams. This is the end I thought, as my phone buzzed in my pocket. Sure enough it was a text from the citizen warning me of a tornado notice that was just posted to the national weather service site, fuck.

Well, I thought at least the EverSoft service guy will be here to save my ass shortly. The phone begins another round of buzzing and this time it’s a call… EverSoft dispatch. Apparently, the driver was swept way by the torrential down pour on the 405 in his service truck and wasn’t going to be able to make it, fuck.

That’s when I decided it was time to start loading the animals in two by two. Buzz… another text from the citizen, “There are a lot of wet beavers out there today.” I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed off or laugh, doesn’t that asshole know that I’m nearing the end?

This all must be some kind of horrific omen of what is to come tomorrow, inspection day.

-The Cismontane Stewart


  1. Well Brother, did you pass your inspection?
    The story of Noah-like floods jeopardizing "wet beavers on beer kegs" is just to enticing not to ask.

  2. Gosh! You just leave us hanging? Did the beer make it? What becomes of the hero? Did he ride out the storm on a raft made of empty kegs?

    Argh, cliffhangers...

  3. When can I expect to frequent your new local just a couple of blocks from my home in Rancho Santa Margarita?